BY BOB RUGGIERO
How one quilter is opening up dialogue
about a tough issue
Beatrice de Wit can vividly recall the first time she felt the initial rush of excitement about the art of quilting. Little did she know that it would open a path for her to not only experience immense personal growth, but now be able to help others who face a similar emotionally-raw situation in their lives that she does.
De Wit with a jacket she designed.
De Wit—who lives in Büren an der Aare, Switzerland—was just 20 years old in 1986 and working as an au pair in near Toronto. That’s when she came across a stunning quilt in nearby Kitchener-Waterloo (St. Jacobs). In one of those magical movie moments, it lit a fire for her interest in patchwork and quilting.
She was soon taking classes, and her own well-honed habits of curiosity served her well as she learned new techniques and styles. She started with traditional quilts, and moved into appliqué. As the years rolled by, she began designing and lecturing and honing her craft.
But it’s another issue that has inspired her to create the (still-formulating) program and website, United in Quilting. She hopes to bring attention to an issue that affects her personally: Childlessness.
“It’s an overlooked issue that people don’t talk about much. People say to me ‘Well, be happy that you can do whatever you want!’ or ‘You won’t have all those sleepless nights!’ But then that means you don’t have the joy of having a child, of seeing it grow up, and do all those little things that a lot of people take for granted,” de Wit says via a Zoom interview from Switzerland.
“And I’ll never be a grandma. But now I have something that I can give back. I’ve already received so much feedback from all over the world—and not just women, but men too—who give voice to that subject and their feelings about it. And they found a way to face that subject through quilting.”
Making quilts (some under the title Without Fruit) and now dresses has helped her to both confront her own pain about the issue and inspire herself and (hopefully) others going through the same thing.
Beatrice de Wit in her home studio.
“It’s uniting all my talents and all I can do, and it all started with quilting,” she offers. “It helped me figure out where my heart and my soul was, and my feelings about my life went into [the work] through my hands. The feelings about childlessness was always there, and I could work out my feeling through quilts.”
De Wit talks about going to family parties with children, but when she goes home at night, it’s quiet. And that leads her to a sad feeling that is reflected in some of her work.
Her quilt design starts not with fabric or drawing, but a feeling. And that leads to thoughts about color, and then a lot of design starts and stops, drawn by hand (she admits that her wastebasket can get filled with rejected designs). Heavy feelings mean she’ll incorporate heavy fabric and buttons.
Her website UnitedInQuilting.com is still in its infancy, but her plans include to make it not only a how-to creative site and reflect her life journey, but also open it up to forums with others sharing their stories of childlessness, and even online quilt and fashion shows featuring the works of visitors.
“Despite the years of endless tests, examinations, and treatments, they could not figure out why I did not get pregnant. Medicine had no answers for us,” de Wit says of her and her ex-husband.
“On one hand, this was very frustrating, as it might have been easier to understand and come to terms with the whole childlessness if a reason had been known. But on the other hand, there was no blame towards each other. But the question of why remained unanswered until today. Which often triggers the question in me whether we really did everything after all. This thinking has often triggered disappointing and dark moments in me. I had to let go of my innermost desire without knowing the reason.”
In 1999, De Wit was diagnosed with cancer, and made a series of 18 quilts inspired by her long, intense journey. They were exhibited in both Holland and the United States (at Quilt Festival in Houston). She’s also had work on display in or visited quilt-related events in Switzerland, the Netherlands, France, and Peru, and published a book, Heirmee begon het (This is How It Started).
Of course, de Wit doesn’t want the site to be all heavy with emotion and pain, but prove cathartic as well.
De Wit in front of one of her quilts.
“It’s not all sad!” she insists. “I have a wonderful life and other possibilities. And I’ve learned to value those and my friendships and my family. But I first had to see that even though I don’t have an [immediate] family, I have a world family through quilting.”
She continues. “I want to encourage other people with the same problem to do their own thing and show it and have a forum to share their stories with others. I want [the website] to be a place they can talk about it.”
Finally, de Wit has been to a number of quilt shows around the world, including several European Patchwork and Quilt Expos produced by Quilts, Inc. and the International Quilt Association. She first came to the Houston Festival in 2014 and was amazed by what she saw.
I thought ‘Wow, this is heaven!’ So many quilts and quilters, it was a delight to be there,” she says.
“And I’ve met so many people from so many different areas of quilting. Everybody had their own stories to tell from their heart. It was an absolute fantastic adventure! I think now, “I think now, everybody’s eager to get back out there and get to shows. And I will make my way back to Houston, to my quilt world.”
For more on Beatrice de Wit and United in Quilting, visit UnitedInQuilting.com
© 2021. A publication of Quintessential Quilt Media.
No portion may be reproduced without the expressed written consent of Quilts, Inc.